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Showing posts from March, 2012

God Loves Ugly.

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"What I believed wasn't the truth, but I still lived every moment under its power. I couldn't help it. Every move that I made, every word that came out of my mouth, the way I treated people, and the way I let them treat me was a direct result of an inner list of beliefs written on the fabric of my existence. My truth was: I'm dirty. My truth was: I'm ugly. My truth was : I'm unworthy of love. So as an innocent little girl, learning the ropes of life, I did what any little girl in my position would do. I acted out what I believed to be true." Christa Black. When I opened this book I assumed it would be another cheesy "just love yourself because God loves you". It wasn't. It got to the heart of things and it was SO relatable. I believe(d) I was these derogatory things so they became my life. I've just picked out some key quotes that really spoke to me, but in general I loved the whole book. It made me cry, it made me think about the way

Tachycardia.

"Tachycardia: A rapid heart rate, usually defined as greater than 100 beats per minute. The tachycardias include sinus tachycardia, paroxysmal atrial tachycardia (PAT), and ventricular tachycardia.  Sinus tachycardia is due to rapid firing of a normal structure called the sinoatrial (sinus) node which is the natural pacemaker of the heart. Sinus tachycardia occurs in response to exercise, exertion, excitement, pain, fever, excessive thyroid hormone, low blood oxygen (hypoxia), stimulant drugs (such as caffeine and amphetamines), etc." (From medterms.com ) Six months ago I was admitted to hospital after a collapse. Throughout my teenage years I had been suffering with these faints/episodes/blackouts/syncope/whatever my current healthcare provider wanted to title it! I had a CT scan which showed some swelling of my fourth ventricle (I think...I wasn't really that focussed on the details at the time!) in my brain. This was then followed up with a lumbar puncture and M