Mission: Fat-Free Christmas

This Christmas I'll be having a fat-free Christmas. For the past few years Christmas has involved panicking about food. This year I'll be avoiding the word fat over the Christmas period. The word fat for me contains so much more than just weight...it's about feeling lazy, unloved, unworthy. It's not productive or enjoyable to spend Christmas yelling abuse at myself so this year, I will be trying my hardest to avoid "feeling fat".

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the thoughts will creep in, most days I think about being fat but for the next week or so I'm going to enjoy food, in moderation without binging, purging or restricting and it is going to be wonderful. Just a year ago I couldn't have said this, or even considered it privately but I feel that I have made SO much progress in the past year. And as much as I hate to admit it, getting properly "fat" was part of that process. It's taking me a long long time to get the weight back off, but I truly feel I'm now able to enjoy food in moderation, I rarely get the urge to binge, I can't remember the last time I took laxatives. I cannot imagine being a size 6 ever again, part of me is sad, but part of me accepts that at nearly 6 foot with a large frame size...tiny sizes were just not meant for me.


I started today with house Christmas with the best housemates in the world...

Dinner consisted of turkey, honey-roasted gammon, roasted parsnips, sweet potato and peppers, carrots, broccoli, stuffing, homemade Yorkshire puddings and gravy. All followed up with yule log and ice cream. Copious amounts of alcohol has also been consumed. My current drink of choice is cherry Sourz mixed with diet Coke, super yummy.


I am sat here feeling...full, content, but not fat. I know I am loved, I am worthy and it's okay to be lazy on "Christmas day", it's okay to indulge and it's okay to enjoy food. We've eaten and been merry and had fun with the webcam...






 I am so blessed to be able to consider myself "recovered", to have the best housemates in the world and to be able to enjoy the simple things in life.

TTFN x

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